Baiting the Hook

Did you ever bait a fishhook with a squirming worm, but you squirmed more than the worm? That was my experience. Novels have hooks too: the cover , the first few lines, and the blurbs on the cover that entice the reader to pick this book.

We writers squirm to keep butt in chair, trying to get the first lines of our novels just right. But the blurb makes me squirm most of all, because it requires distilling hundreds of pages, dozens of characters, a multi-layered plot, themes, settings, motivations, tone, all into two sentences – then into a paragraph or two. It’s tough. But it’s critical to show potential readers that the story is worth reading.

The blurb is also a priceless exercise for the writer, well worth writing as you begin your novel. It’s a target that gives you something to shoot for. But unlike a static target, this one can change as you refine the story. Basically, it goes: positive (protagonist) + negative (antagonist) = the conflict. (In fact, this is helpful to do in every scene. (Warning: easier said than done.) Anyway, FYI, here are the blurbs from the cover of Breath of Angel. They’re basically from the blurbs I wrote for my author q&a, although in the first paragraph, the copywriter elaborated, and you can see it’s a bit rough. I hope the editor fixed it.

Headline: The stranger’s cloak had fallen back, and with it, a long, white, blood-stained wing. An angel.

Body copy:  ”Melaia, a young priestess, witnesses the gruesome murder of an emaciated stranger in the temple courtyard. Just after she discovers wings on the stranger, the murderer appears at the temple. Committing the fatal act as a hawk, he appears as a man. What Melaia has known only through song and story has suddenly been given flesh. Angels. Shape-shifters. Myths and stories… until now.

“Melaia finds herself in the middle of a blood feud between two immortal brothers who destroyed the stairway to heaven, stranding angels in the earthly realm. When the feud turns violent and Melaia becomes a target, she finds refuge with a band of wandering angels attempting to restore the stairway. But the restoration is impossible without the repayment of an ancient debt, the breath of angel, blood of man, a payment that involves Melaia’s heart, soul, and destiny.”

So the hook is baited. I hope readers will leap to it!

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Fun Word “Sitings”

Up for a little exploring today? Some “word” travel? Here are some fun sites.

To discover the newest words (like halfalogue: one side of a two-person conversation), go to wordspy.

For a fun dictionary with Word of the Day and a thesaurus, try wordnik.

Have a laugh browsing misused words (malaprops) like bare witness and cacoughany at eggcorns.

Adopt an endangered word – one that’s falling out of use and is no longer in most dictionaries. Look them over at savethewords and hear them actually call to you (“Pick me.” “Yo!”) as you scroll across. I, of course, adopted isangelous: equivalent to the angels.

Happy Thanksgiving! And keep your ears open – you may hear a halfalogue or some eggcorns today!

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Deadline: Now

Okay – full disclosure: While I’ve been working on final edits for Breath of Angel with the production department, I’ve also been preparing my submission of the manuscript for Book Two in the Angelaeon Circle series, Eye of the Sword, for the acquisitions editor. My contract was for two books with options to negotiate on the rest. My deadline for Book Two is TODAY! The contract says I’m to send an electronic copy and a hard copy. Done.

So the process starts all over again. Next I’ll hear a detailed critique of the overall story of Eye of the Sword with suggestions for revisions – macro, big-picture stuff. With Breath, I had six weeks to revise. I expect the same this time, but we’ll see. It’s starting to feel like a lifestyle – one I like.

As for Breath of Angel, I’ll get ARC’s (advance reader’s copies) soon, as well as the near-final typeset version to review and make sure it’s right. And – drum roll – I plan to have a contest for one blog reader to win an ARC. So stay tuned!

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Fine-Toothed Comb

“Read over your compositions, and whenever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.” — Dr. Samuel Johnson

I like striking words out, writing lean and mean. The important issue is deciding what to cut and what to keep. At this point in my manuscript, I’ve cut almost everything that can – and should – be cut, and now I’m down to the commas.

In a series, does a comma come before the “and” or not (“breath, blood, and bones” or “breath, blood and bones”)? Each publishing house has its own style, so writers and editors comply with the style of the house (unless there’s a good reason not to). Yes, these are the nits picked out by the copyeditors’ fine-toothed combs. Fortunately, I find grammar interesting, so I’m glad to learn the ropes – like omitting the comma “on introductory prepositional phrases unless they’re five or more word long or unless they’re needed for clarity.” Now that’s info I can use!

Perhaps the oddest change my copyeditor made was in a spelling. One character was “eyeing” another. “Eyeing” is one correct spelling, but there’s another preferred by Random House: “eying.” So “eying” it is. Looks weird to me, but I’ll have to get used to it. But I can breathe a bit easier today: I think I’m done with the fine-toothed comb. Returned the manuscript yesterday to the copyeditor. Hooray!

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MFA on Steroids

I’ve been told that the process of getting a book published is like going through a Master’s degree program. I can now say that’s true. I just got my Breath of Angel manuscript back with suggestions from the production editor. My manuscript is going through level after level of evaluation and editing, which might indicate that it was in poor shape to begin with, but it wasn’t. In fact at every level, I get comments about how few changes editorial has to make or suggest. They’re pleased. So I know this is the route every manuscript takes. At least at this publishing house.

If you’ve been following the process, you know the Editorial Department had its say in big-picture edits and line edits. Now Production weighs in with copyedits, making sure the manuscript follows the publishing house style (more on this next blog). This is also my last chance to make changes or corrections of my own. The production editor says the next time I see the book, it will be typeset, “and at that point we want to make as few changes as possible since the repercussions are greater.” Meaning money is involved for changes after that point – and the money doesn’t come my way.

But that’s not all: While I review the manuscript, a proofreader will be going over it as well. All this to make sure the manuscript is as perfect and error-free as possible.

By the time Breath of Angel reaches the shelf as a book, it will have been thoroughly edited. My creative idea became a rough draft. It went through revision after revision on my desktop. When my agent accepted it, I made revisions at her suggestion. When the publisher accepted it, I revised again and made line edits. Now the copyeditor and production editor are weighing in. A proofreader will add to the mix. And with each pass, I learn more. It’s an MFA on steroids.

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“Clean” Expletives

What do frustrated characters say when they have to keep their expletives clean? How do I express the force of their feelings without offending a whole subculture of readers? Confound it! What’s an author to do?

Choosing the right word can feel like walking a ledge between the savvy (c’mon, man, the guy’s livid) and the sensitive (can’t give that word a place on my bookshelf). The challenge is to find workarounds, to be creative and sound authentic at the same time. The payoff is a broader readership.

Characters themselves can be a great help. They have different personalities and express themselves differently. When I write, I watch and listen to them. Blast! Great shades! Drak-droppings! Great barn owls! By the ancients! Mercy! Odious! Horrors! Rubbish! Rot! Slime! Pity’s sake! Dash it! Filth! Bilious! Great thunder! Slops! Bile! Serpents! Curses! And the all-powerful Damnation! So . . . having a frustrating day? Have at it.

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Unemployed Characters

“Nothing belongs in your book unless it makes the story move forward.” – Donna Jo Napoli

Did you ever fall in love with someone who was wrong for you? You tried to tell yourself it would work, but your honesty gene kept calling, “Helloooo in there. This won’t work.”

Writers face the same issue. In my first few drafts of Breath of Angel, I wrote about “heathfolk” and created a language for them. I loved the heathfolk. I loved their language. But as I revised (re-visioned) my novels, a little voice kept whispering, “This won’t work.” I ignored the voice for a long time. But my novel was unwieldy. I had to admit that as great as heathfolk are, as much as I enjoy them, they are totally unnecessary for my story. Gulp. I deleted them. They are now unemployed

As writers, we often fall in love with characters or events that are wrong for us. Admitting it and deleting them is a painful part of writing. But it’s also liberating, setting the story free to become all it’s meant to be. The consolation prize in writing is that those scenes and characters are still standing by, waiting for the right story. Maybe someday I can put the heathfolk back to work.

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What’s in a Name?

“O Romeo, Romeo! . . . be some other name! What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” True. But can you imagine Juliet saying, “O Bob, Bob!” Well, maybe you can if your true love is Bob.

I was asked about the name of my main character, Melaia (meh-lay’-ah). (Other Breath of Angel character names and pronunciations are on my fiction website.) I create names in different ways. Melaia sounded musical (melody), and she plays the harp as singer/storyteller (chantress) at her temple. Dreia, angel guardian of trees, got her name when I toyed with the idea of dryads.

Sometimes I’m writing a scene and a character enters complete with a name! That sounds mysterious, and I guess it is, but that’s the way it happens – sometimes.

Other times, I give a name to a character, but it doesn’t fit. I may have to write for awhile to discover who he or she is. King Laetham wore several names until I finally found the right one. For me, names need to match personalities. Who’s the judge of that? Me. It’s totally subjective.

One of my more interesting names is Benasin. He’s a good guy. But only after I wrote the novel did I realize his name contradicts itself. “Bene” means good. Plus “sin.” Good sin? After I thought about it, I decided my muse was right to choose that name. “Sin” is the word “hamartia” in ancient Greek, and it simply means “missing the mark.” Who hasn’t missed the mark? All my characters have – and do, just as in real life. That’s what makes a good story! Plus, Benasin missed the mark trying to do the right thing, but – more than that and I’ll spoil the story for you!

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Judging a Book by Its Cover

The cover sells the book. In a bookstore, the books that draw you first are displayed face-out and have the best designs and illustrations on the cover. If you look further on the shelf, a title or design on a book spine may draw you to pull the book off the shelf. You look at the cover for about 4 seconds. Four. That’s it. If you like what you see, you turn it over and read the back copy. For about 7 seconds. Seven. That’s it. You then decide whether to put it back or open it. If you open it, you may read the first line of the story, maybe a paragraph. You decide to put the book back or take it. It’s what booksellers call the “seven-second sell.” The cover has basically 7 seconds to hook you, to get you to open the book.

That means the title, design, illustration and cover copy (the few sentences that tell you what the story is about – plus maybe some endorsements by people in the know) all have to snag your attention. So when my editor tells me the marketing and sales team are very pleased with the presentation of the package, she means they like the cover and believe it will sell the book.

The bottom line is, an author may have written the best book in the world, but if the cover doesn’t persuade booksellers to order the book, readers will never see it. And if booksellers do order it, if the cover doesn’t persuade them to read the book, no one will know it’s good. FYI, here’s the rough cover copy for the ARC (advance reader’s copy) of Breath of Angel. Will it sell? Marketing and sales seem to think so.

Headline: “The stranger’s cloak had fallen back, and with it, a long, white, blood-stained wing. An angel.”

Body copy: “Melaia, a young priestess, witnesses the gruesome murder of an emaciated stranger in the temple courtyard. Just after she discovers wings on the stranger, the murderer enters the temple. Committing the fatal act as a hawk, he now appears as a man. What Melaia has known only through song and story suddenly takes on flesh. Angels. Shape-shifters. Myths and stories… until now.

“Melaia finds herself in the middle of a blood feud between two immortal brothers who destroyed the stairway to heaven, stranding angels in the earthly realm. When the feud turns violent and Melaia becomes a target, she finds refuge with a band of wandering angels attempting to restore the stairway. But the restoration is impossible without the repayment of an ancient debt, the ‘breath of angel, blood of man,’ a payment that involves Melaia’s heart, soul, and destiny.”

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